Why does everyone hate Duke?
Right now Duke is beating West Virginia and I, like the rest of the country, is rooting for the Mountaineers. I hate Duke. UNC fans hate Duke. ACC fans hate Duke. I’m pretty sure Mississippi Valley State hates Duke. Basically, the whole country hates Duke. The other day I was listening to ESPN radio and the host was wondering why Duke was so hated, and suggested that it was because of jealousy. Not true. Too bad the morons calling in couldn’t think of a good reason why everyone hated them, so i thought about it for a few days. It was pretty fun and I came up with some pretty obvious conclusions……Here are a few of the REAL reasons everyone hates Duke:
1. Duke used to be very, very good in the 90’s and had a good team in 2001…starting with Hurley, Grant Hill, Laettner to the team that won it last with Boozer, Jay Williams, etc. But that was then, this is now. They simply haven’t been very good lately. They haven’t been a legitimate title contender in the past 4 years, losing to VCU, MSU, LSU, etc. The only problem is that Duke fans STILL think they are good. They are in denial and that is annoying.
2. Dick Vitale loves the ACC and Duke. Dick Vitale is one of the most annoying humans on the planet and anything that he likes, the rest of the population will dislike it.
3. Mike Kcyrsuvshesski is a pompous prick. He seems like a manipulator and looks like a very shady version of Splinter (the rat leader of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). He is a nerdy goober who looks like a computer programmer who has never picked up a basketball in his life, kinda like all of the nerdy Cameron Crazies.
4. THE PLAYERS - this is the single biggest reason why the whole world hates Duke basketball. Is their a tanning salon near the Duke campus? I am watching their game right now and am blinded by their pasty whiteness. Singler, Scheyer, Zoubek, King, Paulus. Seriously fellas, you guys need to get out more and get some vitamin E from the sun.
Speaking of Greg Paulus, he is a perfect example of why everyone hates Duke players. He looks annoying. He acts annoying. He plays ugly. And anyone that knows college basketball knows what I am talking about. America is not blind…it is a superficial country that can’t help care about looks. If something looks good and acts with class, then most people tend to like it. If anyone watches American Idol, that’s why Carly Smithson has no chance at winning. She is a great singer but when you watch her, you can’t help but be distracted by her unpleasant looks. I’m not trying to be mean, but it’s the reality of human nature and of our culture. And Duke has a coach that looks like an anal retentive rat, and players that are white, goofy and annoying. You want evidence? Ok. Bobby Hurley, Christian Laettner, Shavlik Randolph, Cherokee Parks, Mike Dunleavy Jr., Wojo, JJ Redick, Taylor King, Brian Zoubek, Jon Scheyer, Greg Paulus, and much, much, much, more.
The point is….it doesn’t matter how good they are (and we already pointed out they aren’t very good in the past 4-5 years). It has nothing to do with jealousy, but simply, they are just a flat out annoying team.
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